Your Law of Attraction Questions Answered -FREE!

by LOA Guru Jack Cox

Have a question about the Law of Attraction?  Not sure how to apply it in your own life? Maybe I can help you succeed.  Your success is important to me so just send your questions to me and I will try to give practical assistance in these pages. I encourage you to contact me directly any time you have questions, need help or advice, or just need someone to confirm that you're on the right track. I'll be up front and honest. I don’t pretend to have all the answers but if I can help you I will. Just think of me a bit like a free agony uncle but hopefully you will find my comments rather more practical. This is a free service.

But I don't have all the answers.  If you feel you have something to contribute, please share your thoughts with us.  If you wish to remain anonymous that's fine but if you want your name to be used, including contact details and a  link to your website, that's fine too.  So whether you are asking a question or answering one, remember to say what you need every time you write in.

Legal disclaimer: All answers are given in good faith but no responsibility can be accepted for the consequences of following the advice given.

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Your questions answered free:

Question: Dear Jack, I would like to know how to apply the Law of Attraction (LoA) to my situation. I have been offered a place at Oxford University, which I am very happy for. However, Oxford is broken up into about 30 colleges and I have been given a place at the college I least like.  It is modern and not like traditional Oxford. The college I really wish to go to is called Brasenose College, and the academic year begins this October. What I have done is to imagine that I have already been offered a place at Brasenose, being grateful for this and have tried to ignore the reality. I am also trying to acknowledge negative emotions of doubt, uncertainty etc and replace them with positive ones. However, I don't know whether what I am doing is right. I would like to know what I would need to do in order to ensure that I am attracting the eventuality of ending up at Brasenose College, Oxford. Many Thanks. Z.E.

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Jack's Answer: Hello Z.E., This really is a bit of a dilemma. I can just imagine all the people going to Bristol or the University of Cumbria (fine universities), or even Cambridge, wishing they were you. Oxford is the most prestigious university in England, if not the world. I went to Greenwich, wish I had gone to Oxford.

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Using the LoA, doing affirmations three times a day, visualising every day, practicing focused self-talk, and all the other techniques I teach in this website and in my e-course, we can attract into our lives everything that is humanly possible.  No doubt about it. But some things are not humanly possible. Bill Harris sites an example of one of his students who had severed his 22 years in the U.S. Army.  It was just not possible for him to re-enlist without a change in legislation.  Yes he could have campaigned for a change to the law but it would have taken years and he would have been very old indeed by the time he succeeded.  Bill was able to use his coaching skills to help this man see the hidden benefit in this apparent setback and to build an excellent future for himself.

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Now I don't know whether transferring to Brasenose College is possible within the present rules. So your first job is to find that out.  What you want may very well be possible, if you carry on doing your affirmations three times a day, visualising every day, practicing focused self-talk, and all the other techniques I teach in this website and in my e-course, you will most certainly become aware of possibilities and opportunities for transferring to Brasenose, which you may not be conscious of at the moment, if there are any.

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There is one technique that is so simple but so often overlooked.  Just ask for want you want and expect to get at least three 'nos' before you eventually get a 'yes'. 'No' seldom means 'no', its just part of the process, so keep asking. Write to Professor Roger Cashmore (Principal) and Dr. Giles Wiggs (Dean).  A neatly typed letter will probably work better than an email. Do some research first so you can give them good hard-nosed reasons why you admire Brasenose College and want to be a part of it. Tell them how you can benefit the college too.

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Remember too that even if you don't get to Brasenose this year, you can always go there to do your post-graduate work, if you are good enough. You can get anything you want in life if you are prepared to pay the price and that often involves a lot of hard work and taking some risks.

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Question: Hi Jack, I have been intending to meet a man for a long time now. I modelled him on a real man that I work with but didn't intend to attract that specific person because he is married. I worried about things for a year and nothing happened but since last October, I learned that it is about emotions. So I began to happily picture myself with a man who was in every way exactly like the one I work with but without intending it to be that actual real-life person. I knew there was no way I could have him because I thought he was happily married. But then in December I found out that his wife is fed up with him and is constantly criticising him. She even made the comment "if I get married again". So this made me think 'what if it could be this guy after all?' Then I went back to visualising it being a guy just like him so that I would 'keep my options open'. When I got back to work after being on holiday I decided to smile at this guy warmly (because I thought he might need a bit of encouragement! Maybe not the best idea but who knows?) and he has suddenly warmed to me. He used to flirt with me when we first started working together, but as I thought he was happily married I held back because I didn't want to cause problems. So he gradually shut down to me and barely spoke to me except for work related things. The weird thing is that both these things have happened since I stopped worrying and began to feel happy and have wonderful daydreams about being with someone. I'm wondering if there is a connection and that they are signs of land and if so, is it just a sign that someone (not necessarily him) is on the way, or that it could be him? What do you think? Thanks, B.G.

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Jack's Answer: Hello B.G., what do I think?  I have no idea what you mean by "signs of land " but there are two things I think.  First is to give a general caution to my readers that if they are ever in a similar situation, don't use a real person in your visualisations, use a made-up picture instead.  If you can't manage that, use a film star or other celebrity that you are never likely to meet.  Safer that way. Also, as I said in a previous reply (to Brian, see last post on this page), if you use affirmations or visualisations to win the heart of another, you are more likely to entangle yourself than you are to affect the other person.

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The second thing I think is that, having said all that, do you really want him?  Maybe using his face in your visualisations has attracted you to him more strongly than him to you. Just maybe.  I don't know you but you need to know and be very clear about what you really want before deciding on your next move. I hope this is making some kind of sense. Make sure that you really want him and haven't trapped yourself by your visualisations.

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After that it really comes down to ethics. Are there children involved? Is his wife really about to dump him or is that just the way she is?  Some people (losers) enjoy a good moan.

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Some people would say that if his marriage is on the rocks and there are no children involved then its ok to move in.  Others would say that you shouldn't move in on an existing relationship until they have actually parted. These are things you need to decide for yourself, it is not my place to lecture.  Anyway, however it works out I wish you both well.

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Before closing I would just like to highlight a very important lesson we can all benefit from here.  You say "things have happened since I stopped worrying and began to feel happy and have wonderful daydreams".  Whatever it is we all want in life, this is the way it works. Be happy and stop worrying first, then more things to be happy about will turn up.

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Question: Hi Jack, I just have a couple of questions that I hope you will be able to answer. I have studied and practiced the Law of Attraction (LoA) and have seen it work in many small ways in my life, but how do I amplify it so I can open the floodgates so to speak? Also why does the LoA work in some areas of my life and not in others?  Is it down to limiting beliefs? Thank you, Toby

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Jack's Answer: Hello Toby.  Its not easy to answer this without actually knowing you and working with you but there is a very high probability that 'limiting beliefs and low expectations' are the answer to both your questions. Please do read my article on beliefs. As I have said many times, the critical key is actually our expectations.  Our minds create the outcomes we expect to happen. And our expectations are governed by our beliefs.  Fortunately, as I explain in the article, (these kinds of) beliefs are neither true or false of themselves. It is more resourceful to choose our beliefs according to how useful they are. The article explains how to identify our beliefs and how to choose and install new ones.

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Question: Hi Jack! I'm all new to this Law of Attraction business so my question to you today is this. The Law of Attraction sort of makes me feel down because I love to study nutrition and eat foods rich in nutrients that make me healthy. But this Law of Attraction implies that you do not need to eat healthily, because it is not the food that is making you well but the thoughts that are making you well. So does this mean if I stop taking calcium tablets my bones will continue to increase in bone mineral density. If a person who is allergic to peanuts can still eat peanuts if they just use there thoughts? Where does the whole science/physiology/medical aspect of chemistry/nutrients/eating according and exercising according to our bodies needs fit in? What about the theory of eat right for your blood type and all those healing professions? Sorry to bombard you with this long, what may be confusing question. I trust you insightfulness to be of some help and good guidance to me. Many kind regards, hope your answer will clear things up for me. Have a lovely day, Amaz

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Jack's Answer: Hi Amaz, it may be a long and complicated question ( I have only reproduced about half of it here) but the answer is very short and simple. The Law of Attraction DOES NOT SAY that "you do not need to eat healthy, because it is not the food that is making you well but the thoughts".

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This is a very common misconception. I don't know where from but a lot of people seem to have got hold of the idea that you only have to think good thoughts and everything you want will come to you while you do nothing. This is just not so.

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I know Mike Dooley loves to say that "thoughts become things". This is true, yes they do, but there is a process by which this happens. The process begins with thoughts.  Everything that has ever been made by humankind started out as a thought in someone's head. No doubt about it.

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Now there are two ways the thought can become the thing.  There is a long, slow, uncertain way taken by most people whereby they eventually stumble upon the answer.  And there is the much shorter, faster, more certain way used by those who understand the Law of Attraction. This faster process involves setting a clear intention or goal, WRITING IT DOWN, writing affirmations about it and repeating these affirmations two or three times every day. Then things start to happen AS IF by magick. Whippee! The most important thing is that you are motivated and inspired to TAKE ACTION. Nothing will happen until you take action.

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In your case the action involves learning about nutrition and applying what you have learnt in your daily life. In your case I think you probably teach nutrition too.  This is great. But you didn't just suddenly, for no reason, one day start knowing about nutrition.  You had a thought, an idea.  You kept thinking about it for a long time.  Eventually you became inspired and motivated to read some books, then to seek out and enrol upon a course of study. This was the Law of Attraction in action.

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Yes there may be quantum effects as well, but even they require some action on our part beyond just thinking. Our results are also governed by our beliefs and expectations and a lot of other stuff which I go into in more detail elsewhere in this website. The most important thing of all is probably our expectations.  Our expectations determine our actions and our actions lead us to experience the situations we expect to happen. Maybe if we really could believe hard enough, truly enough, then we could just see the thing done and it would be, just maybe.  But we all (everyone I know anyway) have far too much pre-existing programming for that. Maybe all that the action does is to give us permission to believe and expect.  Placebo drugs and operations suggest this may well be so. I don't know but what I do know is that at our present level of development the action is absolutely vital. This is an action universe. Everything from the smallest subatomic particle to the largest galaxy is in constant motion.  So must we be to get things done.

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I really hope this has cleared things up for you. The Law of Attraction is working constantly to bring us the things we are constantly thinking about, and it does so by inspiring us and motivating us to take action. If we do not apply this law and work with it, it will still work just as well, only we will be inspired and motivated to take the wrong action or no action at all. If we work with the law we will be inspired and motivated to take the right action and to move swiftly towards our goals.

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Question: Dear Jack, I have a problem and need your help.  I have attracted a woman who has been married before. We have now been married for 4 years. She has a son from her previous marriage and we have had a daughter together. There is a lot of negative energy coming from her son. He never ever accepted me and his negativity has now spread to my wife. She now hates me to the extent that I am her first enemy in this world. No matter how good or nice I am to her, there is no change in our relationship. Now the situation is getting even worse. I don't want to walk out on her because of our daughter who needs us both. Please do advice me how can I make the situation good and attract a peaceful, happy and loving environment for us all. Thank you, Jag

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Jack's Answer: Hi Jag,  what a terrible situation.  I wish there was one simple answer to this but there probably isn't. Please see the answer I gave to Cale (see below on this page).  I lot of what I said to him applies here too. I feel rather inadequate with relationship questions as I have had no training as a relationship counsellor.  This that what you should consider first, seeing a marriage guidance counsellor or relationship counsellor. The other thing is, you must all sit down and talk.  Also read my article, Love and the Law of Attraction.  This will give you a lot of ideas.

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Also see what I said to Philip (below) about the 7 steps. Start with Step 1.  You must take 100% responsibility for everything that is happening.  As long as you blame your wife and her son you can't move forward. It may be their fault, it may be yours, I don't know or care.  This is not about fault, it about responsibility. When you take 100% responsibility, accept that you and only you are responsible for sorting this mess out, you give yourself the power to do just that, sort it out.

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You also seem to be stuck at Step 6.  You must get feedback form your wife and her son so you need to make it safe for them to open up to you and really tell you the truth about what is upsetting them.  By making it safe I mean not getting upset, going into a rage or snapping their heads off.  And don't explain or make excuses either. Not at this point of the process, just listen to what they say, thank them for their frankness and go away and think about it on your own somewhere for a long time.

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It may be that you have just attracted the wrong woman, that happens. Or it could be that you are failing to meet their needs in some way.  You won't know until you ask, and then listen quietly to their answers. You say you are trying hard but realise that you can also fail women by being too nice, too soft. A woman wants a man, not a doormat. Whether this applies to you or not I have no way of knowing, I am just trying to cover all the bases.

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Its a very wicked and unjust thing in this world but the woman nearly always gets custody of the children, so you really must try to sort this mess out. Jag, please do write in again and tell us all how it works out, we are all routing for you.

Very best wishes,

Jack

Question: Hi Jack, I need your help and guidance on how to be a great and successful celebrity chef. I am encountering problems that in between something not so good happens. Can you advise me, please? Thank you, Philip.

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Jack's Answer: Hi Philip, The 'not so good things' are great too.  They are called 'feedback'. Feedback is the most valuable thing you will ever be given on your road to success. The important thing is what you do with it. But let me start at the beginning.

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Whatever you want in life there is a simple, seven step process that will get it for you. But note I said 'simple' not 'easy'. This process only works if you work the process.

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Step 1) Take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life.  No excuses. No blaming others, your customers, your family, your dog or the economy. Whatever is happening or not happening in your life is because of something you are doing or not doing. No exceptions. This really is GREAT NEWS because it puts you in command. If someone or something else was responsible you would be powerless to do anything about it.  If only you are responsible it must mean that you do have the power to make it the way you want it.

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Step 2) Work out exactly where you are in your life right now. Take inventory of your wealth (money in the bank, value of your house, your car, your business premises and equipment and so on). Then take inventory of all the money you owe (car loan, mortgage, business loans and so on). Then subtract one from the other to find out how much you are worth. Then do the same for your intangible assets (your education, training, experience, knowledge of these success principles, your positive mental attitude, the people in your team, your family and so on). WRITE IT ALL DOWN !!!

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Step 3) Now you know where you are you can decide where you would like to go next. Set your goals and WRITE THEM DOWN in great detail. Spend a lot of time thinking about this. Think about your values and your beliefs and check that none of them are mutually exclusive. Check that none of them are in conflict with your goals.

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Step 5) Do something. Take action.  Don't worry if you can't see the whole road ahead, nobody can, just take the first step. If you can't think of anything, ask yourself 'how can I?' type questions until something occurs to you. You can also read books and take courses written by people who have gone there before you. Follow the steps they took.  As  the saying goes 'success leaves clues'. Don't try to re-invent the wheel, just follow what others have done. The import thing is to do something.

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Step 6) See what happens as a result of the action you took and learn from it. This brings me back to what I was saying about feedback. Until you start acting you won't get any feedback. Once you get into motion the feedback will start coming in. If it doesn't, ask for it. Ask everybody "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate what I am doing?"  If they reply with any number less than 10, ask them "What changes could I make which would make it a 10 for you?". Then modify what you are doing and act again.

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Step 7) Keep repeating steps 5 and 6 until you achieve your goals.

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As I said, a simple process but not necessarily easy.  It will take a lot of work and a lot of willpower but by following this 7 step process you can become a celebrity chief or anything else AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GOING AND NEVER GIVE UP!

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Elsewhere in this website you will find lots of details and extra information about each of these 7 steps. I know you already have Philip, but for other people reading let me walk you through the process by subscribing to my Principles of Success E-course.

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By the way Philip, I have looked at your website www.rice.sg  and it is really great.  Just one thing though, consider adding a Feedback link.  It will make it much easier and safer for people to tell you where you can improve.

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Go for it Philip, you really can become a great and successful celebrity chef.

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Question: Hi Jack, How can I concentrate on using the Law Of Attraction when my wife is so negative in every aspect of life that it is hard to see anything positive, the negative influence seems to fill the house whenever she is there. Introducing her to the LOA is a complete waste of time, she has suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for many many years and now seems to use it as a tool, when things don’t go her way she shouts "OCD" and everyone just backs off. It is difficult to be positive when there is such a heavy negative cloud over the house. Hope you can make some suggestions, Cale

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Jack's Answer: Hi Cale, This is a difficult one. May I begin with a quote from Richard Bach "Remember who you are, where you came from and why you created this mess for yourself in the first place".  At first that may seem flippant but it alludes to the idea that we create difficult situations so we can grow by overcoming them. Zig Ziglar makes the same point when he says "It's not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life, it is how you handle what happens to you".

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So, how to handle what is happening to you? You can't use the Law of Attraction to change another person, only to change yourself. However you can "hold the other person in the light", surround her with love, make her feel that she in a safe place where she can live and grow without being judged or criticised. Remember that, on some level, she has created this condition so she can grow by overcoming it and that you have attracted each other in order to share the very experiences you are experiencing together now.

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Once you have established a safe and nurturing environment it will be time to get some real help with the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  There are lots of very helpful books on the subject. There are also many therapists who specialise in this condition but you will probably have to go to the private sector and pay. You are probably looking at some kind of Hypnotherapy, Behavioural Therapy or Cognitive Therapy.  Meditation will help her a lot if you can persuade her to give it a try.

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It has been said that we are all an average of the five people we spend the most time with. If that is true it is important that we chose our companions carefully. Sometimes we just have to make the hard choices. I had to divorce my wife last year due to her drinking disorder and related behavioural problems. It broke my heart to do so and I still miss her like hell but sometimes we just have to stop trying in vein to help people who don't want to be helped and protect ourselves instead. I knew she had a problem with alcohol right from the start but I thought my love would be enough to help her over it.  I was wrong and eventually I just had to face up to that fact.

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It was easier for me in so far as we had no children.  Reading between the lines of what you say I guess you probably do have children together. Of course you cannot walk out on them so you are just going to have to battle it out. Fortunately, as I say, there is a lot of help available and if you can make your wife feel safe and loved, despite her condition, it may go a long way towards improving the situation.

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How can you keep yourself positive while all this is going on? Start by writing down your plan of action for reading all you can about OCD, finding a therapist for your wife and helping her towards recovery. Just knowing that you have a plan written down, that there is light at the end of your tunnel, will help you a lot. Next, think about the five people you spend the most time with. Ok, so you can't change the top one but maybe you can change some of the others.  Even if you are not face to face, in a sense you can 'spend time' with personal growth trainers by listening to their audio products.  Get lots of success and personal growth Cd's and listen to them in the car, while washing and shaving,  and at odd moments during the day. And add your goal of helping your wife towards recovery to your goals list and read it aloud two or three times every day. This will keep you focused and positive.

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Remember though that its no good setting goals or making affirmations for your wife.  For instance, it is a waste of your effort saying "I am so grateful and happy now that my wife is well". What you can say is " I am so grateful and happy now that I an helping my wife on her road to recovery at the maximum rate that she is ready to progress" or something like that.

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You have some rocky times ahead but I am sure you can and will handle this and grow from the experience. You can win through in the end and I am sure you will

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Question: Jack, I have read through some of you articles on the law of attraction (magick) and wondered why is it that all or most of these spell casters or Wiccan witches offer love spells when with the Law of Attraction you are unable to change the free will of a person. Regards, Brian

Jack's Answer: Hello Brian, an interesting question.  No you cannot override the free will of another person by using the Law of Attraction or any form of magick. This is my belief anyway.

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Really there are two answers here.  First, there will always be unscrupulous people who pretend to be witches or to have special powers in order to exploit the unwary.

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The second answer is to say that all the goal setting, wand waving, affirming, and visualising will not change the other person at all, but it will change YOU. This is how it really can work.  As soon as you start to move to gain the love of another you will be motivated and inspired to take action.  You will also become aware of opportunities you did not notice before. The danger here though is that you can simply end up more in love yourself and get hurt even worse.

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