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Beliefs (this article is intended to
be read in conjunction with
The Map Is Not The Territory, which should
be read first as it introduces some ideas which
we go into in more detail here) |
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The things that we believe in
and value in our lives influence the way that we
act and think. For example, if we think that we
are poor public speakers, this will have a
negative effect on how we perform when speaking
publicly. The flip side of this is that, if are
aware that we have difficulty in this area, we
can work to develop our skills, with a view to
increasing our self-confidence. We may then find
that our perceived belief about how badly we
perform will also change. |
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All of us, at some point in our
lives, have had a ‘limiting belief’ about
ourselves. Because this type of belief tends to
operate beyond our conscious awareness, we can
have these very negative, unconstructive beliefs
about ourselves without ever realising it.
Because of this, we behave in limiting ways. The
belief becomes like a self-fulfilling prophesy,
holding us back. |
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Our beliefs are the things we hold to be true,
weather they really are true or not. What we
believe has a powerful effect on how our lives
unfold. To master our beliefs and use them to
create what we want in life, we must first
become aware of them. Then we can go inside and
watch to see how they generate what happens,
both inside and out. |
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Where do our beliefs come from? Based on our
early life interactions and experiences,
especially with our primary care-givers, we all
develop beliefs about who we are and what our
relationship is to the rest of the world. We
don't consciously choose these beliefs. We soak
them up from our life experiences when we're too
young to have an effective way of evaluating
them. Our beliefs become core components of how
we see other people, the world, and ourselves.
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Regardless of what we believe, we always find a
way to create consistency between our life
experiences and our beliefs. In combination with
other aspects of your Internal Map of Reality,
our beliefs create or attract the results,
circumstances and experiences of our lives. The
mind is a very powerful goal seeking mechanism.
It will either find a way to make what we
believe come true, or at least make it seem to
be true to us. As human beings we have a
powerful need for consistency between the world
the experience and the things we believe. The
drive to create this consistency is so strong
that people will do almost anything to be right
about their beliefs, even when doing so creates
failure, suffering, or unhappiness for
themselves. Of course we don't consciously
decide to do this. It isn't voluntary. Its just
the way we are. |
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There are three main ways that we make what we
believe either come true or seem to be true. We
attract or are attracted to people or situations
that make our beliefs come true, interpret
whatever happens in such a way that our belief
seems to be true, even if it isn’t, or act in
such a way that it really comes true. |
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We attract and are attracted to, people and
situations that confirm the truth of what we
believe. If we believe that no one will ever
love us, we may feel a strong attraction to men
or women who don't have the desire or the
capacity to love us. Of course we have no way of
consciously knowing this about them in advance
but somehow we seem to know on a subconscious
level. |
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People often attract partners with the same
basic characteristics, over and over again, each
time in a different body. We attract people who
will confirm what we believe as if by a hidden
radar. Doing so creates consistency between what
we believe and the actual events of our lives.
I did this for decades until I eventually came
to my senses. I would always attract women who
could not really love me. When eventually I
found one who did, I divorced her to prove to
myself I was unlovable. If only I knew then what
I know now I would not have lost a very special
person from my life. Nor would I have caused her
pain. |
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At the same time she was working hard to
reinforce her belief that men always leave her
in the end. What a pair we were !!! |
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If you believe you'll never be prosperous,
you'll attract people and situations that will
keep you from making money or cause you to lose
it if you do somehow accumulate any. Whatever
you believe, you'll exhibit a magnetic
attraction to people and situations that will
help you be right about your belief. |
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Beliefs:
Pathways to Health and Wellbeing
by
Robert B. Dilts,
Tim Hallbom,
and Suzi Smith |
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We find ways to distort what we perceive so as
to make a belief seem to be true, even if it
isn't. If you believe that no one will ever love
you, you'll interpret the behaviour of others as
evidence that they don't love you, even if that
isn't what it really means. My wife was busy
proving her stuff about being abandoned and I
interoperated it as evidence that she did not
really love me. |
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If you believe you'll never be prosperous,
you'll find a way to interpret your situation as
lacking prosperity, even if that isn't really
the case. Of all the possible interpretations in
any situation, we always pick those that confirm
that what we believe is true. We filter out all
interpretations that would contradict our
belief. |
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We act in such a way that people finally comply
with what we believe to be true. If we believe
that we will eventually be abandoned, that fear
will cause us to act in such a way that
eventually drives the other person away. This is
what my wife did. If you believe you'll be poor,
you'll act in such a way that you'll end up
poor. |
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With all these three methods, we get to be right
about what we believe, creating consistency
between what we believe and what happens in our
lives. If you'd rather be right than happy, this
is a great strategy, but if you'd like to be
happy, peaceful and prosperous, it's a losing
proposition. |
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Major negative emotional experiences create
beliefs that are not resourceful to us. They
also cause us to focus on what we do not want.
The emotional charge from such negative
experiences pulls our focus to what we don't
want. |
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Since the mind takes whatever we focus on as an
instruction to create or attract more of it,
focusing on what we don't want is not
resourceful. |
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To get what we really want in life, we have to
focus on what we want. We must also harbour
beliefs that are consistent with those results. |
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People who have had significant negative
emotional experiences create a generalisation
that the world is a dangerous place, or at least
a potentially dangerous place. Quite naturally,
they feel that they must avoid that danger in
the future. To do so, they have to focus on it.
Since focusing on anything gives the mind an
instruction to create or attract more of it,
such people end up getting the very thing
they're trying to avoid. There are two ways to overcome this problem. The
first is to change our focus to what we do want.
When you notice yourself remembering your past
trauma, immediately change your focus to the
conditions that you do want to have in your life
now. |
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A good way to do this is by asking yourself “how
can I” type questions. For instance, if you find
yourself focusing on being in debt, you might
find yourself making internal pictures and
having internal dialog about owing money and
being poor. Instead, you could ask yourself,
“How can I create enough money to pay these
debts and begin to create some significant
wealth?” Then start to daydream about how great
it will feel to be prosperous. Decide what you want and ask yourself how to get
it. This focuses your mind on what you want. You
will begin to make internal representations of
what you want and how to get it. As a result you
will get some ideas. As soon as you get a
workable idea, act on it! |
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By focusing in this way you will begin to notice
resources you didn't notice before. You begin to
draw on internal resources you didn't know you
had, such as persistence, problem-solving
abilities, and so on. And, you'll become
motivated to take action. Action is a vital part
of the process that some people seem to leave
out. Incredible but true. |
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Sometimes your mind will immediately generate
answers to the questions you ask. Other times,
you may have to ask the question many times,
over days, weeks or eve months. |
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In asking ourselves positive questions we start
focusing on what we are asking about. Then the
unconscious mind immediately gets to work
creating a solution. |
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So, now that you know how this works, what might
keep you from doing this? Trying to be safe by
avoiding danger might keep you from focusing on
what you want. If you're scanning the
environment for danger, which is focusing on
what you don't want, it's because you've had
significant negative emotional experiences in
the past. Now you know that you don’t need to do
it any more, do you?. |
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If such experiences were strong enough there may
be an unconscious pull to focus on what you
don't want, but you can still decide to focus on
what you do want instead. Its your choice. If
the trauma was strong enough, you may have to
get rid of the emotional charge on the root
cause of the trauma. This can be done through
therapy, meditation, especially with Holosync,
and a few other methods. I have created a guided
meditation to help you here. Once you make the
past trauma emotionally neutral, though, you're
free to focus on what you want and thus create
it. |
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To believe something, we have to make internal
representations of it, in other words we have to
think about it. Negative beliefs involve making
internal representations of what we don't want,
which causes the brain to create or attract more
of it. Negative beliefs, in one way or another,
create or attract situations or people into our
lives, or make us act in such a way, that the
negative belief either comes true or seems to be
true. |
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Everything is true to the person who believes it. Often when people argue or
dispute a situation, it is because their maps
are different, not that one map is more valid
than the other. For example, four people can
watch a television programme and all of them
will perceive it differently, not because they
have watched different versions of the same
programme but because their differing maps
influence their perceptions of the programme. We create, attract or imagine
whatever evidence we. So evaluating beliefs
based on whether they're “true” or “false” isn't
really very helpful. Evaluating our beliefs in
this way is just indulging in circular, flawed
logic. |
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If asked why they believe something, most people
will say “I have plenty of experiential
evidence.” Yet the person across the street
might believe the opposite, and he, too, has
experiential evidence. Which is true? They both
are, because each will use the three methods
discussed above to make whatever they believe
either BE true or SEEM TO BE true to them |
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Some people can convince themselves that the
earth is flat or that theirs is the only true
religion. In order to be right about what they
believe, people are quite capable of imagining
all the evidence they need. |
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If you will always find a way to make whatever
you believe either come true or seem to be true,
how could a belief ever be false? If you believe
it, you're going to find a way to make it seem
true to you. Only other people's beliefs can
ever be false, your beliefs will always turn out
to be true. For this reason, conscious, happy
people evaluate beliefs based on whether or not
they're resourceful. Whether they lead you
towards good results and experience of life. |
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Please don’t write in saying that ice is cold
whatever we believe. I am not talking about
those kinds of beliefs. I'm talking about more
esoteric beliefs and your ability to make what
you believe come true, or to make it appear to
be true. In terms of your experience of life,
this amounts to the same thing. “Weather you
believe you can or you believe you can’t, either
way you are right”. |
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Since whatever you deeply believe will end up
being true for you, why not believe what will
give you the results you want? Believe that you
can make money, and you will. Believe that you
can be happy, and you will be. Believe that you
can have great relationships, and you will.
Believe that you're lovable, and you will be.
There are a few other things you're going to
have to do, but believing it starts the ball
rolling, and without believing it, nothing
happens. |
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Beliefs have consequences. So the best way to
evaluate a belief is by the consequences it
creates. Once you decide to believe something,
you'll begin to create the experiences and
evidence that will back up that belief. |
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Changing your beliefs is
possible. Let's say that you look around and
notice that some people do create close, loving
relationships. You do a little research and
discover that these people tend to believe that
they are lovable. They believe that they deserve
love. They believe that they can give and
receive love. Because you now know that what you
believe generates certain results, you decide to
drop the belief that you aren't lovable and,
instead, adopt the beliefs of those who have
great relationships. Smart move. |
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In the beginning you may feel like you're lying
to yourself. It feels strange to believe that
you're lovable when your entire past experience
screams that you aren't. But here's what I'm
asking you to do. I want you to think and act
“as if” you are lovable. Begin by pretending, by
acting like a person who believes that they are
lovable. You could even ask yourself, from time
to time, “What would a person who is lovable do
or think in this situation?” This “as if” thinking and acting will sneak up
on you, and pretty soon you'll find yourself
thinking and acting like a lovable person, and
once you do that, you'll be a lovable person. |
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The witness posture. A very effective way to
replace unresourceful beliefs is to adopt the
witness posture Just watch yourself with
awareness. Observe the process of how, what you
believe, creates the events of your life. This
watching process almost automatically causes
whatever isn't resourceful to fall away and
whatever is resourceful to remain. This works
because it's impossible to consciously do
something that doesn't serve you. You can, and
have, been doing so subconsciously, but you can
not do it consciously. |
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By doing something consciously” or “doing
something with awareness” I mean that you are
actually aware of what you're doing to create a
certain result, while you're doing it. This
means seeing how you're filtering things, and
what internal representations you're making,
in
real time, as you do it. As you watch, keep in
mind the inevitable outcome and curiously watch
the process unfold. By watching in this way,
your motivation to keep doing the unresourceful
thing dissolves, as does the belief that
generated the whole mess in the first place.
You don't need to consciously work out what's
resourceful and what isn't. Just watch with
awareness, and what isn't resourceful
automatically falls away. |
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Anyone can learn to watch with awareness and to
notice the effect your beliefs have on what you
create in your life. It just takes some
practice. If you aren't good at it at first, so
what? You weren’t good at driving the first few
times you tried. But your guts and perseverance
eventually paid off. So it will be with this. |
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Consciously choose more
resourceful beliefs. Once you've watched the
creative process with awareness, and, as a
result, you've caused a belief that doesn't
serve you to fall away, you can then consciously
choose a more resourceful belief to replace it. |
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Choose beliefs that create the mental,
emotional, spiritual, and physical results you
want. Yes you really can choose what you want to
believe, and in doing so, choose the results you
get. Think of beliefs as instructions to your mind to
make things happen in your life. Instead of
accepting results you don't want, created by
beliefs you didn't consciously choose, you can
choose beliefs that create what you want. |
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A key step in replacing beliefs
that don't serve you is to discover what you
actually do believe. Most people aren't aware of
what they believe, and have never examined their
beliefs. One way to discover what you believe is
to complete the following sentences: |
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I am _______. |
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People are _______. |
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The world is _________. |
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You could make a long list for each of these
sentences. In doing this, you're looking for
what you say to yourself when things have gone
wrong and look bleakest. |
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Don’t just repeat what you may have learned in
self-help books, what you think you should
believe. Instead, write down what you really do
believe about yourself, other people and the
world. Some of your beliefs will be resourceful,
others will not be. |
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Some people, as they compile their list of
beliefs, find that many of them are negative.
Then they become depressed about it. Instead of
doing that, if you discover that you have a lot
of beliefs that don't serve you, celebrate that
fact that you've finally noticed this. You've
been suffering the negative effects of these
beliefs for years. Now that you know what they
are you can do something about them. This is a
huge positive step, so celebrate. You've taken
the first step toward being happy and peaceful
and getting your life together. |
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Another way to discover what you believe is to
look at the results you're getting. What you
believe will manifest in your life. If you
believe you aren't lovable, you'll find a way to
make that come true. If you believe it's
difficult to make money, you'll figure out a way
to make that come true. If you believe that
people will hurt you if you don't watch out,
you'll find a way to antagonise people or to
draw hurtful people into your life. |
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If you're getting certain results you probably
believe that it can and will happen to you. Then
you find a way to make it come true. Of course
this doesn't happen by some sort of magic. What
you believe manifests in your life because you
DO something to make it manifest. What you
create happens because focusing your mind
motivates you to act, it causes you to notice
resources you could use to make it happen, it
causes you to find internal resources that help
you make it happen, and it gives you ideas about
how to make it happen. It also motivates you to
TAKE ACTION !!! |
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When you see people who are getting better
results than you are, you can be sure that they
have different and more empowering beliefs on
that subject. In fact, the shortcut to creating
something in your life, whether it's happiness
or worldly success, or anything else, is to find
others who already have it and find out how
they're thinking and acting. Then, copy how
they're thinking and what they're doing. For any
outcome you want, there is a certain way of
thinking and acting that will get it for you,
and those who are getting that outcome are
already thinking and acting in that way. |
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As long as you continue to hold the same
beliefs, you'll continue to get the same
results. There's no way to continue to hold the
same beliefs and get different results. To get
different results, you must be willing to adopt
different beliefs. Once you know what your
beliefs are and have decided what new and
different results you want, the next step would
be to decide what beliefs would create those
results. |
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Install a new belief. To install a new belief,
focus on it as often as possible and in every
way you can think of. Once you've chosen what
you want to believe, based on the results you
want to get, you can begin to adopt this new way
of thinking. Doing so will automatically begin
to create new results. Start feeding the new
belief into your mind, over and over, while
wiping the old belief out of your mind whenever
it pops up. |
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Think about the new belief while meditating,
while driving, while showering, as often as
possible. Act as if it's already true for you.
Ask yourself, “What would someone who believes
this think? What would someone who believes this
do?” |
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Changing to a new and more resourceful belief
may bring up uncomfortable feelings and thoughts
in the beginning. Let that be ok. The safety
part of you will probably fight for the old
belief, so be prepared for that. And, the more
that safety was an issue in creating the belief
in the first place, the more it will fight.
Don't let that bother you. Just keep focusing on
what you want. |
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Another way to change beliefs is to read books
by people who share your new belief, socialise
with people who share it, or find a mentor who
will help you adopt the new belief. There are
lots of books about positive thinking, about
making money, about creating good relationships,
about having peace of mind, about being healthy,
and anything else you want in life. Find them
and read them. Be on the lookout for other
people who believe what you want to believe.
Going to seminars about what you want is one way
to meet such people. |
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There's a price to pay to make these changes.
You might look at the price and feel discouraged
but remember that you're already paying the
price for not changing. Only you can evaluate
these two prices and decide which one you want
to pay. Personally, I’d choose paying the price
of change, because it's smaller than the price
of staying the same, and it only takes a limited
time to pay it, whereas you'll be paying the
price of staying the same for the rest of your
life. The price is really very small, a bit of
work, a bit of effort, a bit of self-discipline.
Whereas the rewards are huge, a new, happy,
prosperous you. So go for it !!
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If you want to learn more about all this I
really do recommend
Bill Harris’s excellent
Internal Map of Reality Expander course. I
recommend it because I took it a few years ago
and it helped me a lot. I earn no commission
from recommending it. I am only telling you
about it because I know it can help you to
understand all this stuff better than I can
explain it. There is just one very small thing I
must say about it though. In his sales
literature Bill offers email access to himself
(or to his assistant if you opt for the cheaper
version). Yes you do have access to him and he
will answer your questions in a lot of detail by
email. However he dose not actually allow you to
send him emails or to reply to him by email. He
makes you log on to his website each time and
fill in a web form. This is a great shame. But
please don’t let this small detail stop you from
taking his
life changing course. |
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