Legal disclaimer: All answers are
given in good faith but no responsibility can be accepted
for the consequences of following the advice
Question: Hello Jack! Since I am having a hard time finding someone that is the right match for me, I am trying the Law of Attraction. I have been told that I should get into detail about the person I wish to attract, so I did. I've also been told that I should become the person that I wish to attract because like attracts like. However, I don't want to become the person that I wish to attract, I want someone who is different from myself so that we can grow and learn together and from each other. I'm just wondering if in that case it would still work to use the LoA for that purpose since it takes away one of the basic principles? Thank you. S.
Jack's Answer: Hello S, don't worry, it seems to me that you are doing everything just right. If you wanted a Mercedes Benz you wouldn't try to look like one or sound like one would you? What we mean by like attracting like the that the things and people you attract will be compatible with the vibrations you are giving off. What you need to do now is focus on what you want (a very specific type of lover) and never think about what you don't want (to remain alone). Spend as much time as you can daydreaming about that person and how great it will feel to be together. Really get into the feelings of being together now. This is probably the most important bit, its not so much what you think as how you feel. Do write in and tell me how you get on. Jack
Question: Hello Jack, I don't know what's wrong. Today I just failed the visa interview I want to pass so badly. It's the visa interview for me to study in another country. Actually the whole process of studying and getting a scholarship takes more than a year. This visa interview is the very last step to decide if our effort is finally worth it. I really hope you can help me with my question so that I can make a necessary changes before my second interview. The thing is I could never imagine myself failing this interview. Months before I really thought that I could take passing this interview for granted. I do believe that my dominant thoughts are on the fact that will get it. I always feel so good and never really worried when it comes to the idea of the interview. However, I failed. I don't know what's wrong? I will re-take the interview this month and I think that with more preparation I can pass. Please tell me what's possibly wrong? T
Jack's Answer: Hello T, you certainly do seem to be positive and optimistic about this. I don't think this is a Law of Attraction problem at all, I think its much more basic. Unlike many LoA teachers, I always stress that right thought is only the start. The purpose of right thought is to lead us to right action. In the end its the right, inspired action that really counts.
In answering this I am trying to imagine myself in the position of the interviewer. You still have not told me very much about the process but I imagine he or she has a limited number of places available and wants to give them to the students who, in his or her opinion, have the best chance of making the most out of the opportunity.
When you first wrote to me you did not give me enough information to get an idea of your problem. I had to ask you for clarification. Your question, as it appears here for brevity, is actually an amalgamation of two emails. I still do not know which country you are living in now or which country you are hoping to study in. I wonder whether your interviewer is thinking the same as me, "its very difficult to get any information out of this person, to get any real interaction going, its like pulling teeth".
One of the hardest things to learn is to see things through the other person's eyes, to understand what the other person needs to know. By way of example, this website is hosted by a very good company. They have a very knowledgeable support guy who tries to help me whenever I have a technical problem. This man is a real expert, there is very little he does not know. The down side of this is that he just can't see my problems from my perspective. He in unable to understand what its like not to know all the stuff he knows. Getting information out of him that I can use is like pulling teeth. Is that what the interviewer thinks about you?
Is this interview entirely verbal or is there a written component? If there is, make sure your grammar, spelling and capitalisation are perfect. In your email to me you used lower case for the personal pronoun five times and spelt "please" as "plz". That just won't do for formal or academic work. If you need to submit a written report, do at last three drafts until you have it as perfect as you can make it.
Anyway that's a couple of obvious things to consider. There are some less obvious things you could look into as well. Sit down with a piece of paper and a biro and brainstorm the following questions: 1) Why do I want to study aboard?
2) Do I really want to study abroad or is it something my parents or friends want for me?
3) What am I afraid of about living and studying in another country? Am I scared that learning another language and adapting to another culture will be hard? Am I afraid I will miss my family or my friends? Am I worried that the climate there will be too hot or too cold?
4) What are my payoffs for failing to get a visa? Will I be able to get sympathy from family and friends? Will I be able to play the 'poor me' act?
Really answer these questions and any others that come to mind and try to find out if you could be subconsciously trying to sabotage your own efforts.
Anyway that's some things to think about. Feel free to write in again if you need any clarification or if other points come to mind. Good luck, you will love it when you get here. My very best wishes, Jack
Question: Hello Jack, I am a 19 year old girl, and I have been in a relationship with a boy for the last 6 months. I attracted him using the Law of Attraction but now I feel that, at that time, I wasn't clear enough about the qualities I wanted him to have. Now I would like to see those qualities in him that I missed out. So is it possible to do this with the LoA ?? Or is it better for me to move ahead and to find a better match for me who will have those qualities? Waiting in anticipation for your response. Thank you, S.S.
Jack's Answer: Hello S.S. Its no good trying to change other people, whether using the Law of Attraction or using conventional means. It just does not work. You have no right to even try. Obviously you are not serious about him anyway or you would not be asking the question. What you don't say is whether or not he is serious about you.
From what you say, I really think the best thing you can do is let him down as gently as you can and try to attract a better match for your needs. You have done it once, you can do it again, but this time with a lot more care and attention to detail. Try ending each affirmation or visualisation session with "for the greatest good of all concerned". You may also like to read my - article on relationships
My very best wishes, Jack
Question: Hi Jack, I am really enjoying your free Course.. I know all this Law of Attraction stuff is real. I know I need to learn the right way to think, and to feel, in order to attract wealth and I am very grateful to you for teaching me this stuff. However I often find myself wishing there was more practical advise in your course. I wish you would actually tell us how to start a small internet business and start actually making some money. Sorry if I am putting the card before the horse here but I need some money in my life now, not a huge amount necessarily but enough to pay some bills. Any ideas? Maureen
Jack's Answer: Hello Maureen, no you are not really putting the cart before the horse. Its true that if you start a business before getting your head into the right place, you may limit your chances of success, at least in the beginning. In order to receive the things you are asking for you need to bring your mental vibrations into line with the things you desire. That's why its so important to really study the course and do the affirmations, meditations and other stuff I suggest. But it is important to take action and the sooner you get into motion with something the better. Follow the 6 step plan I teach in the course.
I am not a business coach, I am a success coach. There are lots of good business coaches out there. One I particularly like is an American guy called Jim Daniels. Like me he offers email coaching. He doesn't charge a fortune either, which makes a refreshing change. Actually he gives a lot of great stuff away free. Why not read his free ebook, The New Age Work At Home Plan and then if you like what he says you can take things further. Just CLICK HERE and then at the bottom of the web page which opens (in a new window) click on the image of the key. It doesn't say the book is free but trust me, if you click on the key it will be. You can even make some money through his affiliate programme too, selling his other stuff. You will like that bit. Even while working with Jim, remember to follow my 6 step plan to success. Also please keep your eye on the real prize of aligning your mind with your desires through my course. Good luck and let us know how you get on, Jack
Question: Hi Jack, I am Rocky, 17. I have been studying The Law of Attraction like anything for nearly 6 months. I read many books on this law including The Secret, Science of Getting Rich, The Master Key System etc .I am very good at visualizing & adding feelings to it .I know that by just thinking positive & visualizing we cannot manifest our desires out of thin air I know that action is needed. I will continue to visualise & take action to manifest my desires. Currently I intend to have the Toshiba Qosmio x500 gaming laptop so I keep visualizing. Also I am trying to find any competition were I can win a gaming laptop. I know I am not trying to manifest it from thin air. Thank you a lot for your eye-opening LoA teachings. You are the best according to me so thank you once again. Please once again tell me what action am I supposed to take to manifest my desire. Always open for your teachings. Rocky
Jack's Answer: Hello Rocky, It seems to me that you are doing everything right and your new laptop is being drawn towards you more and more each day. There are a few things to try which will speed up the process for you. Firstly, be happy now. Whether you get the laptop or not, you are happy. Being needy will push it away. You say that you are naturally good at visualising and adding feeling, that is really good. Some people struggle for years to develop those skills. When you visualise, make sure you put yourself in the picture. See yourself sitting at your desk, or on your bed, or whatever you do, actually playing a game on your new machine and having so much fun! Then zoom in as if you were viewing the scene through your own eyes, you can see the computer, you can see your hands and the desk, maybe even your knees, but not your face as you are now looking through the eyes of the person who is actually playing on the machine. Know that it really is you and it soon will be. The other thing to do is to really know and expect to get your new computer, and you will!
You understand the importance of taking action too. That's so important, this is not a free lunch universe. As you set your intention, repeat your affirmations and do your visualisations, stay alert for inspiration. At any time in the day, or at night while you dream, inspiration can come to you. stay alert for it. You may get a nudge from within to go far a walk, or to visit a particular friend or a certain shop. When there you may see or hear something that will give you an idea. Yes it may be a competition or it could be something quite different you had not considered before. As soon as you get a nudge or an idea, act straight away. The universe likes speed. Have fun with your new computer! Jack
Question: Hi Jack, I just came through a very controlling relationship that now after 3 weeks I realize more everyday that he enjoyed humiliating me and upsetting me and then turned it around and made it all my fault, I know it wasn't but for some reason as strong as I am I couldn't stand up for myself and kept making excuses for him to my friends who told me he was no good. I didn't listen until he humiliated me in another man's eyes and then made it out to be a joke. I wasn't allowed to call, text or leave messages. When he called I would be pleasant, he would complain about everything and said he didn't want drama. He said I was going to either drive him crazy or he would have to kill me and no one would miss me anyway. I still said nothing. Two days later he calls and blames everything that's wrong on me screaming he was not going to be controlled and that he enjoyed being with me but didn't know if it was worth the time it took. I asked him if he was done yet calling me down. I have not heard from him since, don't care either. My question is "why do I feel that as much as I was always nice to him and with what he has done to me why am I not sleeping very much and the dreams won't go away? I keep thinking that he is walking around like he did and said nothing wrong, in his mind it is all my fault. I know now he wasn't a nice person and I know now I should have walked away months ago. Why won't my spirit let go? I do not love this man nor do I hate him, I couldn't care less what happens to him, I feel like he is laughing at me. Annie.
Jack's Answer: Hello Annie, I am very sorry to hear of the distress you have been through. One of the most fundamental principles of The Law of Attraction is that we all draw into our lives whatever we expect or think about the most. From that it follows that we are 100% responsible for everything that happens to us, both good and bad. This has nothing to do with fault or blame. It is about taking responsibility. I go into this in great detail in Lesson 3 of my free eCourse. I explain that if you blame others you become a helpless victim but by taking 100% responsibility you put yourself in the driving seat and empower yourself to do it differently next time.
So to chunk that down to our specific situation. You asked why your spirit won't let go. Could the answer be that there are leanings for you in what just happened that you have not integrated yet. Don't worry. This process often takes time. Give yourself as much time as you need. Its important that you get all the leanings this time, otherwise you may find yourself attracting another similar relationship in the future. Basically there are two different ways to think about this and only you will know which is right for you at this time. The first so to look at your own values and beliefs and work out why you did not believe you deserved a better relationship. The other way is based on the idea that outer circumstances mirror what is going on inside. Try to figure out in what way you treat yourself like he treated you. Then start to treat yourself better, love yourself more, respect yourself more.
Both these approaches will need a lot of soul searching and maybe some coaching or therapy. But soon you will be looking at this from the other side of pain and rejoicing that it has made you a wiser, stronger person.
UPDATE from Andrew (Please see his original question further down the page): Hello Jack, I came across a very interesting video I'd like to hear your thoughts on it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQe0oiaBssg . To me it is very eye opening as I have realised from your previous advice that it is possible to make yourself more attractive and better looking with thought. I wonder if it is with this concept described in the video that I have made my facial complexion better through constant positive thought in the past month. The results were not drastic but certainly noticeable. When I thought I was good looking others saw me as good looking. This is very weird and I'm trying to understand how this happens and I think I have found the answer in this video. Hoping to hear your thoughts - Andrew
Jack's Reply: Hello again Andrew, Great to hear about your success, thanks for sharing that with us. Its always easier to succeed at this stuff when someone else has succeeded before us so please do keep us inspired by news of your continued improvements. There are really two different questions here. Your first question is about the DVD What The Bleep Do We Know?. Thank you very much for sharing the YouTube link, I had no idea excerpts were on YouTube. So what do I think of What The Bleep? I think it is a really great movie, a really life-changing movie. There is a huge amount of stuff out there, I wish there had been so much information around when I first started learning about all this. Of all the material that has been published so far this century, there are two DVDs that stand head and shoulders above everything else. The Secret and What The Bleep. That's why I plug them near the top left hand corner of every page on this website. I really believe these two movies should be seen my everyone. They should be compulsory material for all school children everywhere on the planet. If we could only start teaching this stuff young enough what a wonderful life those children would grow up to enjoy. Yet its never too late to start. Please everyone, if you haven't seen them yet, please do so just as soon as you can. These two films will change your life forever. I really do mean that. For those readers who are unfamiliar with What The Bleep, it can be thought of as the science behind The Secret. It deals mostly with brain science and quantum physics. Don't be scared off, it explains everything in a fun, easy to understand way. You may need to watch it a few times though. I still watch it regularly and get more out of it every time I do so. I even have the extra extended version.
Your second part of your question is asking whether I think quantum physics and brain science are the reasons why you have had such phenomenal success with changing your complexion? My answer to that is "Yes in part, but only in part".
Let me explain. I was taught to always look for the simplest, least esoteric, reason for any observed phenomenon. We don't need to invoke quantum physics to explain what happened to your face. There is a much simpler answer. Most of our body cells are fairly short lived. Most are replaced every year or so, some much faster. Our skeleton is replaced every ten years or so. Skin (epidermis) cells have quite a rapid turnover. Even though you can't see anything happening, your epidermis is constantly hard at work. At the bottom of the epidermis, new skin cells are forming. When they are ready, they start moving toward the surface. This trip takes somewhere between two and four weeks. As the newer cells move up, older ones close to the surface die off.
The new cells need some kind of instruction, some kind of blueprint, so they will know how to form, where to go and what to do. Like with computer menus, there is always a set default. If we don't care or if we fail to make a choice, our new cells will simply follow the default pattern. This is partly hereditary, the DNA we got from our parents. As we grow older we start to modify the basic blueprint. We learn new things, some of which are true and some of which are complete bunkum. If we take these ideas on board some of them will be resourceful to us and some will just hinder our development. It is our beliefs and expectations which modify the blueprint. We can't change our hereditary but we can change our beliefs and expectations. And this is exactly what you have done by your affirmations and visualisations. You have given the cells of your face an new pattern to work to. AND IT WORKED !!! Bit by bit, as each cell dies and is replaced, the new cells follow the new blueprint you are providing. In a very short time all the cells of your face will be brand new. So if your vision is clear and you really believe and expect it to be so, all your facial cells will soon conform the the new blueprint you are supplying. Please do keep us all informed of your continued improvements. Well done Andrew! Best wishes, Jack
Question: Hi Jack, thank you so much for the first lesson of your free eCourse,- I loved it! I'm so excited about this!!! What advise would you give someone who is "stuck" in a job he doesn't like doing? Would you tell him to get out of there right away and start doing what he LOVES doing, knowing that he'll succeed or would you tell him to start changing things slowly? Isn't it easier to fill the glass with fresh water when you empty it first? This is the question I've been asking myself since a very long time! Take care, E.A.
Jack's Answer: Hello E.A., sorry its taken me a while to reply but I really don't know how to answer this one. All my training and studies lead me to say "get out of there and follow your joy". But my experience of life, and of coaching clients, is that its not always that easy. "Let go and let the current lift you free, and he let go and was bashed and broken on the rocks. But he healed and let go again, and was this time lifted free and creatures just like him, further down the stream cried out, 'look the messiah, sent to set us free'". I am quoting, from memory, from Illusions by Richard Bach. The point is that yes, let go, stop clinging to a job you don't like out of fear of unemployment and poverty, but it may not all come right for you overnight. The principles I teach take time to learn and apply. I think that what I am saying is quit your job, but do it in your own time, when it feels right to do so. And when you do make that decision, take 100% responsibility for it, however it turns out. My very best wishes, Jack
Question: Hello Jack, Hope you are doing great .I understand the Law of Attraction and absolutely love it. I am a huge fan as well. I apply it as well and have succeed with it but the problem is that, at times, when I visualise things, they don't to happen to me. Then I hear friends telling me it has happen to them or their friends. Its weird. For example I may imagine a nice dress, then I see someone else wearing it. At times my wishes fulfil in hours and at other times they take months. Why does this happen? It seems I am missing an important part of the puzzle which will complete the picture. Hope you will help me. Waiting for a reply. Lots of love, regards Nikita.
Jack's Answer: Hello Nikita, First may I say your email came through corrupted. A lot of the letters were missing. I have filled in the blanks as best I could, hope I have guessed correctly. If I have missed the point of your question please feel free to write in again. Having said that, the answer seems to be very similar to the one I gave to R.Q.on page: http://www.thelawofattractioncoach.co.uk/your_questions15.php What I said to her was:
"This example has been given quite a lot (don't remember who by), but lets say you are trying to attract a new car into your life. You get lots of photographs of the car you want, you put one on your vision board, one of your refrigerator door, one in the bathroom etc, etc, etc. You visualise the new car twice every day. Nothing seems to be happening. Then one day you are in your front garden mowing the lawn and your neighbour drives in with his brand new car. Exactly the same one you wanted. Where did you go go wrong? You forgot to put yourself in the picture."
If you want to manifest something Nikita, its not good enough to just visualise it. Its essential to visualise yourself with it. Put yourself in the picture enjoying the thing you want to have. I think that's the missing part of process you are searching for.
The other part of your question is why do some things take longer than others. There can be many reasons for that including your level of faith or expectation, how difficult you think it will be, how much emotion you can bring to the table, how clear your vision is and whether you have any, subconscious, contradictory beliefs. All this will be covered in my free eCourse over the next few months.
My very best wishes, Jack.
Question: Hi Jack,Thanks for the reply, I shall surely follow your advice and let you know about the vast improvement. I have one more question can birth defects be cured by LoA? Also, when exactly do we know it is our inner voice talking to us n urging to take inspired action and when is it a random passing thought ?
Lots of love, regards, Nikita
Jack's Answer: Hello again Nikita, for your first question, can I please refer you to my answer to A.K., below. For your second question, this is not easy. its take practice, lots of practice. Best wishes, Jack.
Question: Hello Jack, Is it possible to use the Law of Attraction to make yourself better looking? I don't mean in the sense that good looks will magically come to you after a few weeks of focusing on it but over time could you really change your physical appearance using thought? Regards, Andrew.
Jack's Answer: Hello Andrew, An interesting question. Certainly by adopting ALL these principles, as I teach them in my free eCourse, and incorporating them into your life, you would become a lot happier, more fulfilled and content. This would reduce facial wrinkles and make you look younger. Also by visualising a more fit and muscular body you would be be inspired to exercise more and build a better physique. It should be quite easy to change your complexion but if you are thinking about reducing the size of your nose or something like that you are facing a somewhat harder challenge. Or maybe not? It all depends what you believe and expect and your beliefs and expectations are under your own control.
Every cell of the body is replaced every few years, some much faster than that. If you give them a definite model to work to they should follow it. For this to work you would need to have a picture, maybe an artist's painting, to visualise daily and a firm belief, indeed a firm expectation, that the process is working. People have used similar methods to remove cancer cells from their bodies so what you propose should be possible.
I think the biggest obstacle we have to overcome is cultural conditioning, brainwashing. We have been born into a very material, matter of fact world where 'magick' belongs in fairytales. We have been brought up to disbelieve such 'nonsense'. Hundreds of years ago, kings and warlords would send their Druids to contest against each other before sending the fighting men in. Was it just superstition? What we call 'magick & miracles' are just the things we don't yet understand.
People really are recovering from 'incurable' diseases such as cancer and people are learning to use the Law of Attraction to charge their quality of life in many wonderful ways. Now we have new sciences, such as quantum mechanics, to explain the mechanism through which 'magick & miracles' work. Believing in them is no longer just for the gullible. In LoA work we tech people not to limit the ways the Universe can answer their petitions. We say "don't assume that the money must come from your employment, its not your job to worry about the 'how'". So let me add to that by saying that, although it can often seem miraculous, this stuff is not "rabbit out of hats magic". The LoA works through natural channels of supply, in your case cell replacement. But it is not limited to only those natural channels of supply that we understand and know about. Science is advancing and we are learning new stuff all the time. I personally believe that 100 years from now your project would be a snap but today you will have a lot of cultural conditioning to overcome first. You will need to counter-brainwash yourself by using all the techniques I teach.
Yours is an interesting experiment. Take a fresh photograph every month to plot your progress. If it works you could write a best-selling book about it. Let me know how you get on. Jack
Question: Hello, I am familiar with the Law of Attraction, but I haven't quite tried applying it to my life yet. However, I was startled by the fact that our thoughts from yesterday manifest in our reality today. This will sound stupid, but I think the one thing I think about the most is romance and my ideal partner. I think it's almost come to an obsession. But if that is what I think about the most, how come it hasn't manifested? I have never had a boyfriend or any romantic interest for that matter. I was just curious because I think I may be trying to attract it the wrong way. Your help would be greatly appreciated :) Thanks M.C.
Jack's Answer: Hello M.C., Yes, what you thought about in the past has created the circumstances you are experiencing today. At least that is part of the story. So lets deal with that first. Have you been thinking happy, positive, optimistic thoughts about how lovely it will be to be with him when he shows up? Have your thoughts been full of confident expectation? If you have then that is the reality you should now be experiencing. Or have you been fretting about it, wishing things were different, cursing your bad luck. If so them you will have manifested more fretting, wishing and cursing. Read everything in the Free Articles to Help You Succeed section of this website and my free eCourse to get a better picture about how all this works.
However I did say that this is only part of the story. The other part is your beliefs. Do you really believe that you deserve him? Do you really believe you deserve to be happy? If not there is good news. Beliefs can be changed and again you will find an article about this in the Free Articles to Help You Succeed section of this website and a lesson on it in my free eCourse.
Don't give up M.C., it will all happen for you, but you need to really learn how this stuff works first. My very best wishes, Jack.
Question: Hi Jack, Hope you can help. We have a house and land with planning permission that we are trying to sell. It just isn't moving and we don't know why? Is there anything you can suggest for us to do? Thanks Lorraine
Jack's Answer: Hello Lorraine, attracting a house sale is much like attracting anything else. First it starts with gratitude for everything you have in your life right now. Then write down exactly what it is you want and by when. In your case that means writing down on a sheet of paper the fact that you intend to sell your property for the exact price you want by an exact time and date that you set. Then set about transferring this into an affirmation that you can repeat aloud two or three times every day. Even better, re-write your affirmation each time to. By doing this you are engaging several thinking modalities, kinaesthetic when you write it, visual and auditory when you read it our aloud. Add lots of emotion too. You will find detailed instruction for all this in the Free Articles to Help You Succeed section of this website and in my free eCourse
There is just one other twist that you could consider. Do you really, really want to sell your property? Joe Vitale often talks about the time he was trying to see the house of his dead ex-wife. He just could not understand why it wasn't moving. Then he sat down and did a heart to heart with himself. He admitted to himself that the house was the last concrete reminder of his wife. When he came to terms with that, realised that he would always love her and remember her, house or no house, it sold within 24 hours. Do you have some thought like that hiding away in the back of your mind? Just an idea.
Hope the house sells soon. My very best wishes, Jack.
Question: Hi Jack, Firstly, can I just say I think your website is great and very much look forward to exploring and reading more. The saying "Success leaves clues" I find very compelling and intriguing and am curious as to whether the clue searching may entail re-visiting my past? I'll elaborate; I'm unsure as to what it is I'd like to succeed in professionally. I'd like to break into something I'd enjoy and could give so much to but am at a complete loss as to what this might be. Perhaps I'm afraid of risks I may have to take in order to achieve what it is I do not yet know. Much self-realisation is to be had here but would like to avoid opening any worm cans. Your thoughts would be most appreciated. Many thanks. Samantha Jack's Answer: Hello Samantha, Scary things, worm cans. Will you need to open them? It all depends. I expect that if you diligently work through my eCourse for a few months and really DO the homework and the other things I suggest, those worm cans will start to look much less intimidating.
You talk about fear and yes, you will need to do some scary things. The course will push against your boundaries. One of success principle I will be covering is how to deal with fear. As Susan Jeffers suggests, its better to Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. Don't let fear stop you. Some of the exercises we will do together involve removing blockages and yes that does mean revisiting some past events, but we do it in a very safe and comfortable way.
One of the other things we will be doing is finding our Life Purposes. There is one special thing that you do really well and you would still want to do it even if you were not being paid for it. Most people do know what that is, deep inside, but either it is outside their comfort zones or they just can't see a way to earn a living from it. As you work through the course your vision will clear and your comfort zone will expand enormously.
I am really looking forward to working with you on these things in the months to come. Jack
Question: Hi Jack, I have owned my property (a flat) for ten years. A housing association is the landlord so some properties are rented while some are owned. For ten yeas all I have had is problems with the housing association. They do not comply with the terms of the lease and are negligent. They seem to be untouchable. I contracted cancer after a particularly stressful time with them. Should I push for compensation? They have a bad reputation but nothing is done about them! Many thanks, Mandy
Jack's Answer: Hello Mandy, I am very sorry to hear that you have cancer. That is a tough call. Don't forget though that a huge number of people have fully recovered from cancer and you can too. The key seems to be to adopt the right mental attitude and learn to be happy.
You asked me if you should sue the housing association but you didn't actually say what for. Certainly not for the cancer, that would never wash. I assume we are talking about things like painting and repairs of the communal areas. If they have been bad landlords and failed to fulfil their contract with you then yes, by suing them you may prevent the same things from happening to other tenants. But please don't sue them just to make yourself feel better.
This brings me onto what is probably the most important success principle of them all. You must take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life, no matter who is to blame. I hear a lot of blaming others in your question. Don't do it. Blaming others is a trap that will keep you stuck where you are. I go into this in great depth in Lesson 3 of my Success Principles eCourse but as that is still three months away for you I will summarise here.
I like to give the example of a chemical spill at a refinery. John says its Bill's fault because he pushed the wrong button. Bill says its John's fault because, as his supervisor, John should have made sure Bill knew which button to press. Then John tries blaming Peter because he designed the control panel and should have labelled the buttons more clearly. Graham then comes along and says that it really does not matter whether Bill, John or Peter were to blame. This is not about blame, its about responsibility and as the Plant Manager, Graham takes responsibility for the actions of all three of them.
Why does Graham do this? Is it because he is a fair and decent person? Yes partly, but Graham realises that if he blamed Bill, John or Peter he would be giving away his authority as Plant Manager but by accepting full responsibility he gives himself the power to see that nothing like this accident ever happens again.
If you want to be in charge of your own life Mandy, you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to you. No blaming others, ever, even if they are at fault. If you adopt this mindset you will find that it gives you tremendous personal power.
If you are to fully recover from cancer you have to take 100% responsibility for its cure too. Don't give your power away to the housing association and don't give it away to your doctors either. Of course you must take professional advice but make sure YOU take the decisions after considering all the facts. Never learn about anything from just one source. Read all you can about other people who recovered and what they did. You will find that they all adopted a positive mental attitude and found a way to be happy. Happiness is probably the key, not just to cancer recovery but to all success in life, so please do download and read the Happy Book if you have not already done so. I sent you the link when you subscribed to the eCourse .
You will recover Mandy and you will go on to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Just work along with the eCourse and keep sending in your questions.
My very best wishes, Jack.
Mandy's response: Hi there Jack, I just saw your answer to my question and you did not understand that the reason I say about the cancer, is that, cancer is caused by the immune system not working properly. This in my case was caused by stress by the constant mismanagement of my landlords! I have complied with my lease, they on the other hand have acted in a criminal way, called me a liar and have made me ill with depression and caused the cancer that I got. I have spoken to a lawyer who says I have a case but I wanted to ask you as I came across your site! I understand your point about blame but as a person who plays by the rules and who has been treated in the most vile way, there is a point when you have to bring people to task for their intolerable behaviour. Yes I do blame them and want them to be investigated as many other people do! Best Wishes Mandy
Jack's Answer: Hi again Mandy, Yes I did understand the point you were making but I do not agree with it. There is some evidence to suggest that stress may lead to a greater susceptibility to cancer but that is a very different thing from saying that it causes cancer which it does not. Anyway how you contracted cancer is not the issue. The important thing is how you are going to recover and that depends on you thinking different thoughts. Hatred, blame and recrimination will keep the cancer locked into your body. Release those feelings and you may be able to release the cancer. Replace those feeling with love and joy and you may be able to replace the cancer with health and vitality.
By all means have your landlords investigated and take them to court, but as an act of love to save other people from the same treatment in the future, NOT an act of revenge.
Please read again what I said about responsibility not being about blame. Responsibility is about how you respond. You may also benefit from reading my article on the subject. As Bill Harris says, "Whatever you want in life there is a certain way of thinking and acting that will get it for you. Your job is to figure out what it is and be flexible enough to adopt it". I am telling you what is is right now so that bit is covered. All that is left for you to do is to be flexible enough to adopt it OR decide not to adopt it and stay as you are, that is your choice too. Earlier I advised you not to give your power away to the housing association or to your doctors. Don't give your power away to me either. Consider the advice I am giving you then make your own decision. Its your life.
To your happiness and health, Jack